3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
