when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize