i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
two words...techno handjob
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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