so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
