On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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