Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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