You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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