I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
