Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Randomize
