My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
