what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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