Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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