Christians are straight up FREAKS
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Congratulations! We have a period
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
