My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
