Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
