I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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