What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
