i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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