I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
