i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
