Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Non-Jews are for practice
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize