brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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