i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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