hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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