Can Purell be used as lube?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
