Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I need to calm my uterus...
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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