she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
