so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
