The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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