So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
