Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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