It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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