Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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