just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
