and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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