we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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