i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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