Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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