and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
