I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
