ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
