well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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