Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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