Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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