haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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