It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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