U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
