I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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