I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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