I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i just google imaged poop.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
