Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
