when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
