i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
