1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize