yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
