question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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