Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
