also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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