Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
