the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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