cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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