YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
