help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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