do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
