I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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