The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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